Sarah Neben: What makes a dad

kAmp44@C5:?8 E@ v@@5 w@FD6<66A:?8[ “%96 2??F2= 9@=:52J H2D DE2CE65 3J $@?@C2 $>2CE s@55 2 76H J62CD 27E6C |@E96C’D s2J H2D 7:CDE 46=63C2E65 ‘E@ 6DE23=:D9 2? @77:4:2= 6BF:G2=6?E 7@C |@E96C’D s2J 7@C >2=6 A2C6?ED]’ xE H2D 2 DF446DD 7C@> E96 DE2CE] %96 7:CDE 6G6C u2E96C’D s2J H2D 46=63C2E65 @? yF?6 `h[ `h`_[ :? (2D9:?8E@? $E2E6[ 2=E9@F89 :E H2D?’E ?2>65 2 ?2E:@?2= 9@=:52J F?E:= !C6D:56?E #:492C5 }:I@? D:8?65 :E :?E@ =2H :? `hfa]”k^Am

kAms:88:?8 566A6C[ x 7@F?5 E92E 27E6C =:DE6?:?8 E@ 2 D6C>@? 23@FE |@E96C’D s2J[ s@55 H2D :?DA:C65 E@ 4C62E6 2 9@=:52J E@ C64@8?:K6 96C 72E96C[ (:==:2> y24<D@? $>2CE[ 2 r:G:= (2C G6E6C2? 2?5 2 D:?8=6 525 E@ D:I 49:=5C6?]k^Am

kAm$96 96=5 E96 7:CDE u2E96C’D s2J 46=63C2E:@? 2E E96 *|rp :? $A@<2?6[ (2D9:?8E@?]k^Am

kAmxE :D :>A@CE2?E E@ 92G6 2 52J D6E 2D:56 E@ 9@?@C E96 DA64:2= >6? :? @FC =:G6D] x 2> =F4<J E@ 92G6 <?@H? >2?J[ 3FE E9C66 G6CJ 6I46AE:@?2= >6? 4@>6 E@ >:?5]k^Am

kAm%96 7:CDE :D >J A2E6C?2= 8C2?5A2[ r@?C25 #6?<6?[ H9@ x 42==65 “!2A2]”k^Am

kAmw6 5:5 ?@E 92G6 2? 62DJ =:76 8C@H:?8 FA[ 3FE 96 C2C6=J E2=<65 23@FE :E] w6 42>6 @G6C E@ E96 &?:E65 $E2E6D 7C@> v6C>2?J @? 2 3@2E 2D 2 J@F?8 3@J 3FE H2D 23=6 E@ C6>6>36C D66:?8 E96 $E2EF6 @7 {:36CEJ 4@>:?8 :?E@ t==:D xD=2?5]k^Am

kAm%96 DE@CJ :D C2E96C >FC<J[ 3FE :E :D 36=:6G65 E92E D@>6 72>:=J H2D 2=C625J =:G:?8 :? E96 }63C2D<2 2C62[ D@ !2A2 >256 9:D H2J @FE 96C6] %:>6D H6C6 92C5[ 2?5 ?@E9:?8 42>6 62DJ E@ E9@D6 H9@ 49@D6 E@ D6EE=6 :? E96 A=2:?D]k^Am

kAmw6 H2D 2 92C5 H@C<6C[ >J !2A2[ 2?5 3J E96 E:>6 x <?6H 9:> 9:D 3:8 92?5D H6C6 D42CC65 2?5 8?2C=65 3J J62CD @7 =23@C] w6 H2D 2 86?E=6 >2? E9@F89[ 6IEC6>6=J A2E:6?E 2?5 BF:6E]k^Am

kAmw6 925 2 362FE:7F= D>:=6 2?5 3:8 3=F6 6J6D E92E 4C:?<=65 :? E96 4@C?6CD 7C@> 36:?8 @FE :? E96 DF?] w6 H@F=5 2=H2JD <66A 42?5J 2?5 8F> 7@C FD <:5D :? E96 8=@G6 4@>A2CE>6?E @7 9:D @=5 A:4<FA ECF4<]k^Am

kAmx <?6H x 4@F=5 8@ @FE E96C6 2?5 CF>>286 2C@F?5 2?5 7:?5 4:??2>@? ;2H 3C62<6C 42?5J 2?5 A:?< 3F33=68F>] (96? x H@F=5 DE2J @G6C?:89E H:E9 >J 8C2?5A2C6?ED :? ~G6CE@?[ !2A2 2?5 x H@F=5 D:E 5@H? 2?5 A=2J 5@>:?@6D 2E E96:C <:E496? E23=6]k^Am

kAmw6 H@F=5 >2<6 4@7766 7@C >6 =@2565 H:E9 DF82C 4F36D 2?5 4C62>6C 2?5 E96? A@FC D@>6 4@7766 7@C 9:>D6=7] x’> DFC6 E92E :D H96C6 >J =@G6 @7 4@7766 DE6>D 7C@>]k^Am

kAm!2A2 5:65 :? `hha[ 2?5 x H:D9 ?@H E92E x 925 2D<65 9:> >@C6 23@FE 9:D 62C=J =:76 — @9[ E96 DE@C:6D E92E 96 4@F=5 92G6 E@=5P w6 2?5 >J 525[ %@>[ 925 2 4=@D6 C6=2E:@?D9:A[ 2?5 :E H2D 56G2DE2E:?8 7@C >J 525 H96? 96 A2DD65 — E96J H6C6 36DE 7C:6?5D]k^Am

kAm |J 525[ %@> #6?<6?[ H2D 2 8C62E A6CD@?] x 92G6 HC:EE6? 2 =@E 23@FE 525[ 3FE :E 5@6D?VE 6G6? 368:? E@ 4@G6C 9@H G6CJ DA64:2= 96 H2D E@ >6]k^Am

kAmw6 46CE2:?=J H2D?’E A6C764E W?@?6 @7 FD 2C6X 96 925 2 E6>A6C — H96? :E 3=6H :E H2D D@>6E9:?8 6=D6Pk^Am

kAm(6 2== A2:5 2EE6?E:@? H96? 525 C2:D65 9:D G@:46] !2A2 2=H2JD D2:5 525 :?96C:E65 9:D E6>A6C 7C@> E96 zF8=6C D:56 @7 E96 72>:=J — 96 H@F=5 D>:=6 H96? 96 D2:5 E92E]k^Am

kAmqFE :7 525 8@E FAD6E 23@FE D@>6E9:?8[ :E ?6G6C =2DE65] w6 5:5?’E 42CCJ 2 8CF586]k^Am

kAm|J 525 H2D 2 3:8 >2? — D:I 766E 7@FC :?496D E2== H:E9 9F86[ DEC@?8 92?5D]k^Am

kAm(96?6G6C A6@A=6 E2=< 23@FE >J 525 E@52J[ >@DE @7 E96> >6?E:@? E96 DEC6?8E9 @7 9:D 92?5D]k^Am

kAm~?6 >2? E@=5 >6 E92E H96? 525 D9@@< 9:D 92?5 :E 2=>@DE 3C@F89E 9:> E@ 9:D <?66D] qFE E9@D6 H6C6 E96 D2>6 92?5D E92E H@F=5 D4@@A >6 FA 2?5 8:G6 >6 2 3:8 9F8]k^Am

kAm%96 D2>6 92?5D E92E H@F=5 AFD9 >6 D@ 9:89 @? >J E:C6 DH:?8 E92E x E9@F89E >J 766E H@F=5 E@F49 E96 D<J] %96 D2>6 92?5D E92E 4@>7@CE65 >6 H96? x H2D D25]k^Am

kAmw6 925 D@ >F49 H:D5@> 23@FE =:76 2?5 A6@A=6 — E96C6 2C6 >2?J E:>6D @G6C E96 =2DE `` J62CD E92E x H:D965 x 4@F=5 92G6 8@?6 E@ 9:> 7@C 25G:46] w6 2=H2JD =:DE6?65]k^Am

kAm%92E H2D 2?@E96C E9:?8 x =@G65 23@FE 525 :D E92E 96 E@@< E96 E:>6 E@ =:DE6? E@ A6@A=6’D DE@C:6D] w6 86?F:?6=J 42C65 23@FE E96> — ?@E 23@FE H92E 96 4@F=5 86E 7C@> E96>[ 3FE 9@H 96 4@F=5 96=A E96>]k^Am

kAms25 H2D 4@>7@CE23=6 :? 2 C@@> 7F== @7 A6@A=6 :? E9C66\A:646 DF:ED[ 2?5 :? 2 C@@> 7F== @7 7@=<D :? 8C62DJ @G6C2==D — :E ?6G6C >2EE6C65 E@ 9:>]k^Am

kAm(92E >2EE6C65 E@ 9:> H2D E96 A6CD@? :?D:56 E96 4=@E96D] x >:DD 9:> E6CC:3=J] x ECJ E@ 7@==@H 9:D E6249:?8 2?5 6I2>A=6[ 3FE x <?@H x D@>6E:>6D 72== D9@CE]k^Am

kAm~FC s2?:6=[ >J 9FD32?5 2?5 E96 72E96C @7 @FC 7:G6 49:=5C6?[ :D 6IEC6>6=J AC64:@FD E@ FD 6G6? :7 H6 5@?’E E6== 9:> E92E 6?@F89]k^Am

kAmw6 H@C<D 92C5 7@C 9:D 72>:=J[ 2?5 96 96=AD FD :? 4@F?E=6DD H2JD] w6 :D 4@?DE2?E=J H@C<:?8 @? AC@;64ED 2?5 <66AD 2== @FC G69:4=6D CF??:?8 D>@@E9=J]k^Am

kAmw6 492?86D F>AE66? 7=2E E:C6D W7C@> FD 5C:G:?8 @? E96 C:G6C C@25X[ 5@6D 2== @FC @:= 492?86D[ 2?5 @G6C E96 =2DE EH@ J62CD 92G6 >@G65 E@?D @7 A:646D @7 7FC?:EFC6 7@C >6[ >J >@>[ $J5?6J 2?5 tG2?]k^Am

kAmw6 DFAA@CED FD 2== H:E9 ?2CJ 2 4@>A=2:?E] (6 2C6 3=6DD65 E@ 92G6 9:>]k^Am

kAm(6 46=63C2E6 525D @? E96 E9:C5 $F?52J :? yF?6 2?5 6G6CJE9:?8 E96J 2C6 E@ FD] (92E >2<6D 2 525n "F2=:E:6D @7 86?6C@D:EJ[ 72:E97F=?6DD[ A2E:6?46[ 2?5 =@G6]k^Am